It seems the tourists have been well warned about the dangours on South African streets. Machete...mashiti..."PANGA" gangs roaming the streets, killing young people for the illegal trade in human body parts, for muti. Obviously the genocidal nature of the killing of ET added the oportunity for machet..meche..."PANGA" gangs to also kill older people for fun.
Another extreme danger to tourists are the poisonous snakes (see barmans post).
While the machet..michet..."PANGA" gangs have been killing of the worst of the snakes in the streets, this remains a real danger, especially to the novice running away from the gangs, not looking where he is going.
It is also well know that British football fans like to "dine out", as a manner of speaking, and engage in some prostitution. This brings with it the chance of AIDS, and don't forget, when you are in the prostitutes grass hut you are also at risk of Malaria, especially down in Cape Town.
So what to do about all these dangours at the Fifa world Cup?
TO ALL BRITISH TOURISTS, the Don't kill me I am not a BOER t shirt is not enough:
But Don't Despair, there is a solution!! Yeah
There is a solution that will keep you safe from mac..."panga" gangs, snakes, AIDS and Malaria ------> The FULL BODY KEVLAR CONDOM!
This device wil greatly enhace your safety on your dangerous mission to the Fifa world cup. However please note, Kevlar boots not included in picture, and the FULL BODY KEVLAR CONDOM is not not "Lion attack proof", so still be on the lookout when leaving the safety of your hotel or Soccer Stadium. Onsale NOW