A couple of days ago I decided to educate myself on an emotional level and grabbed a copy of the Women's Health lying around in the house, hoping that maybe I would gain some forbidden knowledge. As I paged through I came across an article with pics of some interesting lipstick holders...only to realise they come with batteries and rubbing it on your lips would probably result in dry skin and the smell of silicone. (get your mind out the gutter!) Yes...they were Vibrators....so....
I started to wonder how popular these items were and in general, adult toys. I found it strange to come across such a liberal article in a magazine for women, whom we all know (or believe) to be very conservative when it comes to sex as a topic for open discussion. So I went to consult the oracle of information, also known as FireFox and his sidekick, Google. After my first search submission a whole new world opened to me (no pun).After my neck got sore from turning it in all directions to try and make sense of what I saw, I decided on a more academic approach. I began refining my search in terms of online industry value and watched a number of documentaries...no...not the documentaries with the dodgy soundtrack...
It became apparent that sex shops in South Africa was greatly frowned upon. Some lady rented a spot in a shopping mall, only for all the other tenants to sign a petition against her trading there. There was nothing lude or sleazy. She sold adult toys for women with no naked pics anywhere. It soon became apparent that anything related to sex localy was considered evil. Naturally, these petitions have filtered into cyberspace where sex is rife. The biggest reason for petition is to protect our children from the evil of these adult sites. Well guess what! If it werent for sex you wouldn't have kids to try and protect you evil sinner!!
Okay, to be fair...before I continue...there is a ton of porn locally available online and many adult stores have a very sleazy approach. What I struggle with is how these sleazy sex trading / porn sites are responsible for giving sex such a bad name? I don't get it...
There almost seems to be some sort of mass hysteria when it comes to the topic of sex. Sure, we can chat about it in private and make tons of jokes about it when with friends and we all love to flirt a little, but seriously? Why do normal people go off the rails when a store wants to open that will allow people to explore their intimate side a bit more and have a bit more fun? I am not for it or against it...due to lack of knowledge on the subject, I am indifferent to the concept of adult toys. I just feel that it is sad that something that plays such a large role in our existence and daily lives (for most of us) can be so obscured and disgraced by society.
Here are my personal thoughts on the whole topic of sex..
You can call it whatever you want...some people prefer to say Love Making, which makes it more acceptable. What's the difference between love making and sex? Nothing! You disagree? Let me guess....sex is pure animal instinct and refers to just "doing it", while love making is a physical expression of ones emotional bond...crap.I have never heard of a man that said: "Honey, I feel such a strong emotional bond with you, I would love to express this love I feel for you in a physical way"....although the latter could be a great pick-up line knowing how drawn some women are to emtions, it all starts with lust and finding each other attractive. I don't deny that sometimes sex is pure lust and other times it is wrapped in emotion...but it is what it is, no matter what you call it.
If we can accept that sex (emotional or not, expressive or selfish) is universal in its meaning and if we can all admit that most of us do it and most of us enjoy it, then why are we so against it in a social context? I agree it's a private matter and some indulge in it in a manner that is unacceptable, but are we that ignorant that in this modern age we still shy away from it and label it the devil's work which may lead to temptation, infidelity and porn addiction?? If this is how we think, then maybe we as a society are too irresponsible to handle "sex" and we can be deemed collectively immature.
Being a religeous person I muse at the thought of church relating to this topic. Everyone dresses up in their best outfit when they go to church...why? Probably because when you dress so nice you feel so good...why do you feel good? Because of those around you, if you were on a desert island knowing nobody would ever see you again, you not going to give a continental about how you look. We want to look good for others...the only reason you want to look good for yourself is to impress others...think about it! So why do you want to look good for others? Well...it's in our nature to want to look our best as it is our instinct to attract attention, even if we have a partner. So many women say that they dress for their partner so that they look nice for them, yet few of them ever asked their partner what they think would look nice...interesting....back to the point...So why do we draw attention? Well....we have an instinct to stand out from our own gender in order to attract the opposite gender. We are here to procreate and it is in our genes. Nothing wrong with it and it doesn't mean you are going to cheat (a topic for another day). All I am saying is if you are so against the evils of sex, then let yourself go...don't make an effort to look nice and when you see a child, grab your Bible, because they are the product of that evil you so hate, the same goes for the next time you look in the mirror.
Personally, I would like us as a society to approach the subject of sex with a responsible and mature attitude. I would like to be able to walk into an adult toy store without feeling like a sex offender, because the product I want to buy there is for me alone or for me to use with my partner in the intimate confines of our privacy to enjoy in a responsible manner. I would like to see more classy adult stores opening locally and would like to see women become more liberal and open and men more responsible and respectfull. So, I know some of you are wondering...did I go an buy a sex toy? No....sadly as result of the stigma society has bestowed upon this topic, I am still too conservative.....however, I would like to hear your thoughts on this topic?