It's that time of year again (well, almost. Soon enough to be planning storylines): the crazy month of April when we try our level best to sound like poncey drama folk and bang out a script or screenplay. Personally, I think I'm going to write a screenplay - not because I think I have more shot at publishing it, but because I understand the medium better.
I have, thus far, plotted out two story-lines. Two story-lines that couldn't be more divergent if they tried. However, they have one thing in common: they're probably too quirky for any self-respecting director to make. Maybe I'm being pessimistic. Anyway, I would very much value your vote. So far in the poll of people I know, they're evenly split, and I have no firm feelings either way. So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, think about what you'd like to see in a cinema near you, and then vote in the comments...
Genre: Comedy-Fantasy, with a few musical scenes thrown in for spice (but all grunge/punk/alternative rock music, not bright, happy showtunes).
Director of choice: Joss Whedon.
Plot: A girl comes back from her brother's wedding (at which she tried to pick up, only to find that all the men were creepy, crazy, married or gay) thoroughly depressed about men. Her housemate gets her intoxicated to cheer her up, and they end up discussing the perfect man. She decides to craft her perfect man (a bizarre mixture of Viggo Mortensen, Glorfindel and Nico Rosberg) and have him animated magically. The trouble is, he came out a little spicier than she intended, having absorbed a few quirky habits from each of the people she modeled him on. She then takes him home for family Christmas and has to pretend that he's normal.
Genre: Drama, Dark Comedy, Urban Fantasy
Director of Choice: Katheryn Bigelow/Mohammed al Daraji
Plot: Told in flashbacks, sparked by events in current life, we trace the journey of an innocent six year old girl into an odd, awkward, hostile thirteen year old. The flashes show her father's escalating sexual abuse on her, followed by her trips into the forest to meet a being (of elf/fay persuasions) that comforts her. The movie culminates with the event that leads to her placement with adoptive parents. The forest being is the catalyst for the event (I wish I could tell you what happens, because the final shot is awesome in my head, but that would be ruining it), but it's never revealed whether she actually exists, or is just a product of the girl's imagination.
Alternatively, if you think they're both lame, make a suggestion. (No, I won't write porn for loose change.)