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Who is to blame?

Posted by: Doolally

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Doolally

I have come to the conclusion that society is to blame for the rise in child abuse. My reasoning is simple; people have become too lax in their parenting relying on technology to babysit for them.  Though technology is not the only thing to blame, there is another reason I think it is the brainwashing men receive from the media as to what the perfect woman should look like.

 

Years ago the perfect woman was one who could cook, clean and raise your children. She had curves, a friendly smile and held tea parties with her neighbours. The kids played together in parks, walked to school together and in the afternoons would go home to their mothers.  Then having a domestic became fashion and women became liberated so that ideal of a woman went out of fashion.

 

These days’ men are lead to believe the perfect woman looks like a young boy or a starving waif. Models are exhibited as the perfect woman in magazines, movies, and on displays to entice men. Gone is the ideal of a woman with curves, boobs or booty, she must look like a plank and have no personality. When men can’t attain this perfect woman they turn to the next best thing children. Children look like this “ideal” woman, children are easy to manipulate and children generally are trusting. It is therefore not surprising that abuse has increased.

 

The internet has made it easy for the pedophiles to ply their trade. Before it was something they did in dark corners and if caught they were locked away as insane. Now they get married have children of their own while leading a double life. It is no longer necessary for them to snatch little girls and boys off the street, they have their own at home. Their dirty dark secrets can be shared with other like minded individuals through email, nice and anonymous. When their wives become suspicious they divorce them and find themselves another little girl to marry and have offspring with.

 

Yes I think society is to blame for the increase in child rape, abuse and murder. We no longer stand up for our rights. It is easier to shrug our shoulders, turn our backs and lock our doors. What doesn’t affect us can’t hurt us, yet when it does happen to you or your child you want justice! But how is justice sought for innocence lost?

 

We should all take the time to think about who we support and want to see on our magazines. Wouldn’t it be better if we all took a stand against waif models and took charge of what we watched on television? Perhaps taking the time off of work to spend with our children to see who they spend their time with, perhaps even being a parent that cares and listened to your child…  That way as individuals we would be stopping abuse one person at a time.

Comments (20)Add Comment
Dissol
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written by Dissol, June 13, 2011
I do think that there is a sinister use of the internet in the way you describe. But I also think that we tend to look at the past with rose-tinted glasses. There has always been child abuse it took different forms, and (as is the case still) much of it is never reported. However, the internet does offer itself as a way for children in abusive situations to call for help too. There are also aspects which we call abuse now, but would not have been seen as abuse in years gone by (child labour, child soldiers - the very term infantry derives from the word infant...). I am sure catholic priests have been using their position of authority to abuse and silence children for generations. Caning and flogging are viewed as child abuse too these days.

But that aside, I agree, that parents should take more responsibility for their children. That does not mean the parents cannot also follow their careers. Both my wife and I work (but we do not have a domestic worker), and although we only have one child left at home, we both spend time with him, and make sure that we all sit down to eat together as often as possible.
Doolally
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written by Doolally, June 13, 2011
Child abuse does go back along way... yu just need to look at the Romans. They had little blonde bum boys (as mu history teacher once so eloquently put it). The Greeks are also very open about bisexuality and prefering younger lovers.

I believe the media has alot to answer for, the internet has just made the lives of pedophiles easier but the biggest ones to blame are the parents. People have children it seems to me to fit in or quiten an urge. Then once the kids have arrived they find their time, energy and pleasure limited. Sad but true. smilies/sad.gif
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 13, 2011
One-sided blame is a precept that bears no fruit. Yes society is to blame but so are the individual parents, the modern political environments and the technological age.

Technology has brought to the fore much of what was hidden behind closed doors in the past i.e. sexual proclivities, abhorent past-times and what passes for entertainment. Technology has pandered to the darkside of the human psyche to an extent that most cannot tell fiction from non-fiction.

I maintain that instead of worrying about the trivialities of living life, we should rather be spending our efforts on trying to understand, and fix, the human behind the human.
Doolally
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written by Doolally, June 13, 2011
Frontal lobotomies were supposed to have done that... Oh wait that was aboloished! The only way to fix the human behind the human would be to take away free will.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 13, 2011
taking away free will is what tyrants do and that does not solve the problem.
flytrap
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written by flytrap, June 14, 2011
I remember when was 10 I used to hop a train to Cape Town over the school holidays to go and flick at Golden Centre. I never felt unsafe and except for a short speech form my mom she never worried. My kids are 14 and 15 and long ago I had a long speech with them - and have repeated it. If they are on mxit or facebook, I am looking over their shoulders to make sure the cute 14 year old girl they are chatting to is not a 42 year old man with his hand in his pants. The truth is that the world has become a more dangerous place. If the bad old days the police may have kept the apartheid laws, but they also kept the ordinary law. Sexual predators did not have easy access to children and, in fact, I would love to see a good study into whether the proliferation of child porn on the internet has not made it easier for sexual deviation to develop. With less access and greater censure it was perhaps a case in the past that those who had a potential for sexual deviance sought help or at least were inhibited. It is too easy today to feed all kinds of sexual fantasy behind a keyboard.
Doolally
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written by Doolally, June 14, 2011
@Jawoffline it is true that tyrants take away free will but if you want people to toe the line all the time that is what it will take.

My kids were taught from small if someone tells you to keep a secret go tell your teacher or come tell me immediately!! I taught them that secrets are bad and generally mean you are going to get into trouble for keeping them. I am lucky so far that my kids are open (and very opinated) young people. They are not afraid to stand up to adults (including teachers) if they think what the people are saying or doing is wrong. The fact of the matter remains internet has increased the access pedophiles have to vulnarable children, and loney children. It has also made parents lazy, because most parents are to tired from working to care after hours what their kids are doing as long as they are quite and in the house. Okay not only internet but cell phone, and tv are also guitly.

@ Flytrap You are right that in the sense that it is easier to type things out and then act them out rather than act impulsively.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 15, 2011
life shows us that toeing the line through the control of free-will does not work, for there will always be those who are hardened against such practices.

What about blaming the whole issue on the population explosion and by implication, the accompanying cultural explosion?

The individualist rationale that if-it-works-for-me, it will work for the rest is surperficially baseless.
Doolally
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written by Doolally, June 15, 2011
Funny that you say that. We had to fire two staff this week after they were caught stealing. When asked why they did their answer was simple "It doesn't count as stealing till you get caught". perhaps that is the mindset of alot of our criminals in South Africa. You are not a criminal until you are caught.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 15, 2011
That does seem to be the overiding sentiment viz. inocent till proven guilty; no responsibility for actions taken assumed; i am entitled for the system makes me; etc.

I listened to a program where digital piracy was being discussed. What was apparent from the studio audience and those phoning in was that of the-system-is-to-blame. If the system makes things cheaper then 'we' will steal less.

The ethics of taking responsibility for one's actions are no more. It is always easier to blame the system, someone else, my parents, etc than to take responsibilty for one's actions.

I know that there are organisations that are trying to bring back the 'take responsibility for actions taken' ethos. What 'worries' me is that altruism or good intentions are usually veiled agendas.
Doolally
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written by Doolally, June 15, 2011
Unfortunately all Humans have an hidden agenda no matter how we deny it. We are beings who are always trying to gratify some hidden need, we only ever care about ours and our own. If we are okay then the world means little. That is the reason the media has such a simple job to brain wash the public.
Dissol
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written by Dissol, June 15, 2011
I agree with many of the comments, in that there is this odd perception in society that you are not guilty until caught...perhaps that stems from our president, who still claims he is not guilty (although gone very quiet about proving his innocence, as he declared he would...).

But I don't agree necessarily that this is a more dangerous world. Of course, it is more dangerous in some ways - such as sexual predators on the streets, but it is actually safer in many others. We have less child labour, and less children soldiers in the world. Systematic abuse of children is being, and has been phased out. My great great grandmother was a survivor of the Irish famine, (due to potato blight). He whole family died, along with most members of her society there. So she would have been a starving lonely child, who had lost everything by the age of 11. She was adopted by a rich English family, but not before she was forced to renounce her catholic religion, and become an anglican. I cannot even imagine the emotional scars of her early life. From what we can make out, she was not adopted out of sympathy for her situation , but rather as a ready-made playmate for an existing child to a well to do family. That was child abuse. So was the practice of sending kids to work in the thinner coal seams in Yorkshire - as the seam was only 2'6" it was easier to send small children to work it, rather than adults (who worked the 4'6" main seam). They would work 12 hour shifts at the coalface. Accidents were common, and if they survived into adulthood, then they rarely lived long due to the different diseases that mining caused them. That was child abuse. Or the practice of the churches, who would forcibly remove children (right up into the 70's in Ireland), if the mother died, or left, and the family was led by only a father. The kids were removed & put in awful institutions run by child molesting catholic priests. That was child abuse.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 15, 2011
I do not have the same rosy outlook as Dissol. Most of what humans have achieved, they have taken to the other extreme much to their disadvantage.

As for being safer, well, mmmm.

As for the media, yes, they pander to our 'demand.'


Dissol
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written by Dissol, June 28, 2011
Well, "safer" in that more infants survive through to adulthood... I am not being complacent, there is much wrong with society, but we seem to have an odd view of the past sometimes.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, June 29, 2011
quite right, and not forgetting the growing hardships of child sicknesses and maladies to which 'our' medical acumen has birthed into the world.

Dissol
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written by Dissol, June 29, 2011
It is great to see medical science removing awful conditions - smallpox, (nearly) Polio, etc. Childbirth much safer too... Although I am reminded of the best graffitti ever seen - in a hospital maternity ward there was a sign which read "The first Three minutes of life are the most Dangerous", to which, some bright spark had added, "The Last Three are pretty dodgy too...!!!"
Doolally
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written by Doolally, July 01, 2011
Love the comment Dissol! Funnily enough I was watchig a programme on TopScience yesterday where they were discussing infantile deaths. Apparently (according to some scientists) 1 in 5 infantile deaths is caused by the baby being smothered accidently by their parents (parents sleeping with their kids in their bed). Another interesting thing was that more boys die from cotdeath that girls...

I think hospitals should educate people on things like this.
Jawellnofine
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written by Jawellnofine, July 01, 2011
this has now gone off the topic.
Dissol
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written by Dissol, July 01, 2011
I never let any of our babies sleep in our bed...I suggested a completely different house for the buggers... smilies/grin.gif
Doolally
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written by Doolally, July 02, 2011
Not really off topic as killing your child through lack of knowledge is as bad as throwing your 2 month old baby against a wall because you are pissed at your girlfriend! It is still childabuse.

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