powachair

This is a blog written by the best wheelchair jockey in South Africa. Some say I’m sick, some say my brain is tired, some say I’m weird but most agree that I have a sense of humour. Warped, maybe, but still able to raise a smile or a chuckle. There are some fun, some sad, some happy and some bad articles written about everyday life from a wheelchair perspective. Things look different from down here. I try not to be politically correct and I will have a dig at anybody that screws up, immaterial of colour, belief, political party or anything else. Stupid statements made by people will be exposed.

SA Politics Explained

Posted by: powachair

powachair

SA Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

SOUTH AFRICAN FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your traditional leader takes most of the milk but now you can’t afford to feed the cows.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you only as much milk as you need to live.

SOUTH AFRICAN SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need, BUT divides up the rest amongst the government officials who sell it to buy new cars.

ZIMBABWE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

MALEMA’S FASCISM: You have two cows. The government nationalises both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

BLADE’S COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. But you neglect to maintain the cows and they die of  malnourishment. Then they apply to the world bank for loans to buy more cows

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk and spends it on armaments and space flight.

ZIMBABWE COMMUNISM: You have two cows and you’re white. The government takes both of them and shoots you. Then gives the cows to the people who proceed to kill and eat them.

ZIMBABWE DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the war veterans league because the original members are dying off from old age and sometimes AIDS.

SOUTH AFRICAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes one to beat to death by vuvuzella, shares the majority of the milk amongst themselves and lets the trade unions, communists and youth, fight to see who gets the other cow.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors hold huge gatherings to decide who won the elections and to pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

SOUTH AFRICAN BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, manually kills one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms, accounting for the missing cows.

SOUTH AFRICAN ANARCHY: You have two cows. You try to sell the milk at a fair price but your xenophobic neighbors try to take the cows, and kill you because you come from another country.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull, but the government takes the bull and kills it instead of the King

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take soccer lessons from a Brazilian coach.

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