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News flash:

Posted by: powachair



News flash:


ANC invests heavily in BMW South Africa.


It has been confirmed by Mr Sosick Shake, the presidential financial advisor, that by obtaining majority shares in BMW, they will be able to buy every government official at least two new vehicles each. They will be able to supply the smaller series vehicles to the SAPS to replace the dilapidated vehicles which they currently drive. When the question, of where to put prisoners was raised, he said “what prisoners, we usually kill the trouble makers and tell the thieves and rapists to pay a few hundred bucks, to avoid arrest”.


It is thought that these new vehicles would be an added attraction and would make recruitment that much easier. Recruitment drives were currently being held in all inaccessible areas, in order to recruit more members that could not write properly, or speak English and who had at least a grade 4 certificate.

Opposition parties are pushing the government to replace the presidential aircraft with a Soviet-built Tu-154. This is the same aircraft that was used by the deceased Polish president and his entourage. All previous attempts to get the government to use SA Airlink and SA Roadlink busses had failed, despite assurances of safety and kickbacks by the management of these companies whose bosses, like all government officials, are staunch Dollar and Pound supporters.


According to a government spokesperson, Ms Bignose Ngidi, the current agreement with the contracted travel agent was working smoothly, with all involved parties becoming richer with each booking and under counter “present”. She also said that negotiations were ongoing with Airbus for one of their biggest aircraft, to replace the presidential jet. It was necessary for such a big aircraft, due to the size of the presidential family.


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