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Jan 17
2012

Elegy to a longtime nightly companion

Posted by redsaid in South African radio personalities , South African radio , Robin Alexander sound byte , Robin Alexander , Radio Orion , Brrright eyed and bushy tailed , bilingual radio broadcasts

redsaid

Every day I excitedly counted the hours until the stroke of midnight, knowing that I would be hearing his soothing voice again. Even if the reception was marred by irritating static, the crackle could not disguise the loveliness of his voice, infused as it was with warmth, kindness and, often, mischievously tinkling with humour.

Nov 02
2011

Gadget hit (or near miss) list

Posted by redsaid in Kodak EasyShare , Indestructible gadgets , Google , Christmas gifts , BlackBerry Pearl 8100 , BlackBerry Error 552 , Acer TravelMate 5520 Notebook

redsaid

 

Sep 26
2011

Java on BlackBerry (& we don't mean the script)

Posted by redsaid in JAVA , Getting the BlackBerry wet , Cup of Joe , Coffee Spills on BlackBerry , Coffee Addiction , coffee , blackberry

redsaid

Stellenbosch – The life of a gorgeous local communicator is hanging by a thread after a tragic – yet, in retrospect, rather inevitable – encounter with a cup of coffee.

Miss BiBi (full name BlackBerry) Bold had been in critical condition on a sundrenched windowsill of a farmhouse situated on the outskirts of town since having a horrific encounter with a steaming mug of java. The unfortunate accident happened way before the crack of noon on Wednesday morning. By Thursday, BiBi’s condition had deteriorated to such an extent that the device was urgently transported to a cellular repair shop in town.

Her guardian, local blogger Redsaid, was allegedly responsible. (Although several witnesses have already – and slightly too eagerly, if you ask us – issued sworn statements, gleefully saying that they saw her do it with their own eyes.)

Redsaid, who has recently taken guardianship of BiBi from her sister, is rumoured to be a hardcore caffeine addict.  “But don’t think you’ll catch her in local coffee bars or cafés. She’s far more insidious about it,” said an anonymous source claiming to be a close family confidante. “She’s the type that drinks at home. ALONE.”

Leaning in, the confidante... erm... confided: “She is the one who should be drying out right now, if you know what I mean.”

An investigation into Redsaid’s sordid past has revealed a disturbing trend. “This woman has a shocking track record when assuming guardianship of electronics. Various devices, from cameras, to smartphones, to not-so-smartphones... have reached awful endings while in her care. And a few of them were still so young, they were hardly out of their boxes!”  revealed yet another anonymous source.

At the windowsill, a visibly upset Redsaid was constantly seen by BiBi’s side, regularly checking the handset’s vitals and incessantly knocking back mugs containing an unidentified beverage that had a distinct, suspiciously coffee-like aroma.

She was too distraught to comment, but the thumb on her right hand - the one that she uses to controll BiBi’s trackball - was twitching forlornly. 

Jul 20
2011

Something borrowed, something green

Posted by redsaid in Unboxing , ultimate road warrior , tech journo , subnotebook , Sony Vaio Y Series , Sony South Africa , proposal , notebook , Netbook , Getting married , Engadget , commitment phobe

redsaid

Jun 21
2011

Traffic Jammin' With TomTom

Posted by redsaid in Untagged 

redsaid

(Disclaimer: I am not eligible to enter this awesome contest *sob, sob*, but I have wanted to blog about this for a while, so a slight modification later, here it is, just for fun.)

May 17
2011

I Cell C For Myself

Posted by redsaid in Vodacom 3G , Telkom , Stuck On EDGE , RICA , PCMCIA cards , Mazda 323 , Maserati , IRC , internet , Grand Prix , GPRS , Fast Web Surfing In South Africa , Cell C Whoosh Promotion , adsl

redsaid

Some girls like fast cars. I’m not one of them.

Apr 20
2011

The Shipping (Tech) News

Posted by redsaid in Travelogue , Surfing the Web on Waves , South African Cruises , Ship Specs , MSC Sinfonia Technology On Board , Indian Ocean Cruises , Durban to Mozambique Cruise on MSC Sinfonia , Dreamboat Italian Officers , Cruiseliners

redsaid

I have always yearned to embark on a sea voyage. However, my nautical skills are naught and I cannot swim. I float, a la Ophelia, and as we all know, she eventually drowned, so she might not necessarily be the most ideal candidate to emulate in the water...

Mar 02
2011

Shattered

Posted by redsaid in Violent Crime South Africa , Shoot The Boer , Message to Jacob Zuma , Loss , Farmer Genocide South Africa , Farm Murders South Africa , Crime South Africa

redsaid

One minute, I was looking up statistics in order to justify a comment on an article about the ongoing Shoot the Boer debate. The next minute, our family became one of those statistics.

Feb 14
2011

Valentines Day Massacre (Resurrected)

Posted by redsaid in Valentines Day , Stellenbosch , St Patrick , Romance is dead , Michelle Obama , Meteorology , Kwanzaa , Cupid the Cherub , Christmas , Channuka , Bastille , Barack Obama

redsaid

Stellenbosch – In what can only be described as one of the most gruesome and shocking bloodbaths in recent history, Valentines Day was murdered early this morning right outside of Stellenbosch, a picturesque college town nestled in the heart of the South African wine country.
The alleged murderer, described as an embittered single woman in her mid-30’s, has been arrested and is being held without bond in a local jail.
According to a witness, when the suspect, who was said to be covered in a sticky red substance thought to be blood (or a chewy, cherry-flavoured filling found in some popular brands of assorted chocolates) and bruised, torn rose petals, was frisked and handcuffed, she exclaimed: “Now this is the most action I’ve had in years!” The witness added that the suspect's maniacal laughter gave him “the heebie-jeebies.”
Mr. Mark Hall, President of Valentines Day’s multi-billion dollar empire, was too shocked to personally comment, but a statement released on his behalf reads: “We are deeply saddened by the loss of our dear friend Valentines Day.
"Valentines was seductive, remarkable. Like true love, those are qualities that will withstand the test of all eternity. The murderer will therefore not be allowed to get her wish of eradicating Valentines Day, and 14 February shall forever remain Valentines Day’s Day, or Valentine’s Day for short.” (Hall’s PR people have never been big on grammar, and correctly inserting apostrophes has always been particularly tricky - Ed.)
The statement concludes with a bit of shameless plugging: “Commemorative cards shall therefore continue to be available from January to February of every year. My company will be personally responsible for distributing and selling those cards.”
This final and successful assassination was not the first attempt to take Valentines Day’s life.
In February 1999, a young woman who had been driven mad by unrequited love, shot at Valentines Day with a bow and arrow. An overexcited witness described the event: “The arrow flew by with a whistling sound! It narrowly missed Valentines Day, and instead pierced and wounded a member of the Valentines Day entourage, a half-clad elf named Stupid, or something like that, right in the buttocks!”
In court transcripts of the hearing that followed, the deranged suspect, when asked whether she had any remorse over shooting Cupid the Cherub, screamed: “I loved the way the fat and cellulite on his flabby butt-cheeks drilled and shook when the arrow went in! It was spot-on! Not bad for my first try, ‘eh?” (She was Canadian.)
The judge took her answer to be a “no” in the remorse department, and she was sentenced to 450 hours of non-stop Hallmark Channel viewing.
She committed suicide after serving only two hours of that sentence.
Single women were responsible for almost all the other assassination attempts on Valentines Day's life. Only in one case (of particular flair) was the emerging suspect a gay man, but like all the other attempted murderers, he was single too.
As news of the Valentines Day massacre has been rapidly spreading around the world, friends, fans and perfect strangers (the latter ironically often found to be married to each other) have been inspired to send messages of their grief.
A South African expat in Atlanta, GA, writes: “I am reeling at this news. However, I was not too surprised when I learned that Valentines Day was murdered in my crime-ridden homeland. I always knew that something like that would happen, which is why I packed up and left with my family in the late 90’s. Do you know that we never have to lock our doors here? In fact, we would sleep with it wide open, only my wife has been nagging me about the chill. I told her the chill had little to do with the mild Atlanta winters and far more to do with her own cold-bloodedness and frigidity. She’s filed for divorce.”
A South African psychologist (and self-described amateur meteorologist) replied: “It has been an unusually hot summer in the Stellenbosch region where the massacre occurred. Oppressive heat tends to do strange things to the human psyche, so it was definitely not the safest time for Valentines Day to travel to South Africa. It would’ve been better for Valentines Day to come in June and July, during the Southern Hemisphere winter, when people tend to want to snuggle more.”
Even U.S. President Barack Obama commented on the Valentines Day massacre. "Michelle is rather devastated. Frankly, I'm too devastatingly handsome to care."
Valentines Day leaves behind heartbroken parents Channuka and Christmas, an adopted African brother named Kwanzaa, drunken Irish uncle St. Patrick, and French niece Bastille.
Funeral arrangements for Valentines Day are still unknown, but red roses, chocolates, diamonds, sports cars, romantic getaways for one, and wads of cash have been requested in lieu of donations to charitable organisations.

Feb 08
2011

How To Preserve Your Digital Life When You Die

Posted by redsaid in where there is a digital will there is a way , What should happen to your facebook account when y , US Marines , Nathan Lustig , Justin Ellsworth , Jesse Davis , Hypochondria , House , Google Your Symptoms , Google Your Symptoms , Entrusted , Dr Gregory House , Digital Assets , create a free digital will

redsaid

People, I have grave news: We’re all going to die.

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