It is not everyday you have to contemplate whether you will still be alive in a few hours.  It is not everyday your life is noticably in danger.  It is not everyday you try and phone your family to tell them you love them no matter what and that you are sorry for eveything you ever said or did to cause pain.  It is not everyday you are forced to confront the fact that you may never drink a cup of tea, sleep in your bed, walk home, laugh, eat smarties or say I love you.  Well yesterday was a day where all of these frightening prospects threw themselves upon me.  I had a life scare.  The details now are no longer important, all that matters is that today I am sitting in my messy room at my desk, my unfinished art projects surrounding me, my hXc music a comforting background to this setting and a package from home on the way.  Yes, today I still have all these meaningless comforts, I still have my family and friends, I still have my life, and everyone who knows me still has me.  I cant even begin to understand why in the past I have stupidly contemplated suicide, almost making a decision which would result in an ending to what I am now so grateful to have.  I have too many things unfinished and unsaid in my life.  And while sometimes we may think it easier to just let it all go, when you are faced with the prospect of never getting another chance, things are suddenly put into perspective.  In those hours I sat there half laughing, half crying, not knowing how to deal with what might happen at any second, I did not think about my new phone, or that ipod i would now never get.  I did not think about my harddrive, my computer or my clothes which would go to waste or even how the boks had claimed another world cup victory.  I thought about people, memories, faces, words which had passed, words which still needed to be said.  All I wanted to do was talk to my mom, and my 3 best friends.  Now I know more than ever that it is people, it is people that matter, that mean everything to me, that are my life.  How easily we take everything for granted.