My sister went on holiday to the UK and all she brought me was a crummy crash course in dealing with psychiatric patients. You see, shortly after her return home she was diagnosed with paranoia.  If the things that come out of her mouth are not as hilarious as they are, I'd probably be in tears all the time seeing the sister that I love so much in so much pain.  I try to see her side of things but there's just no way I can convince myself that everyone she knows and facebook - yes, facebook - is "in on it".

I also have a hard time believing that her entire company, from cleaning staff to directors, are conspiring amongst themselves for her to lose her job. Wouldn't they just fire her? And would they really spend thousands to have a special horoscope application in facebook made just for her? According to her, the facebook horoscope is saying things that only certain people know about her so it has to be a set-up.

She's staying with me for a few days but has her suspicions that my house is bugged. Somehow I'm in on it too. And the doctor, the security guard at the hospital, some of the nurses, a man on the train... they've all been planted there for her downfall. She doesn't miss a beat. Every word, picture, radio broadcast or news headline has a word, phrase or meaning that confirms her suspicions. If there is any truth in her accusations and she does lose her job, she could have a great future as a crime scene investigator.

On her good days, she thinks that maybe the conspiracy is to get her to get some help and reckons we're all doing it because we love her (her colleagues, directors, facebook and everyone she knows). I prefer to let her believe that for now because we do love her (at least I do if not her directors or facebook). Then she has those rare moments of clarity when she realises the improbability of it all and just how much she's lost a grip on the real world. To her, this is more devastating than the world conspiring against her.

Her treatment began on Friday and each day I see a little more of the sister I know. I believe that life is all about growing and learning and I know we're going to look back and laugh about this a few weeks from now. But it's painful and exhausting and if I had a choice, I'd have preferred a crummy t-shirt from the UK any day.