Paypal - The 10th Circle of Hell

Posted by NetizenSA
NetizenSA
A geek who loves the net, games and all things geeky.
User is currently offline
on Friday, 01 June 2012
in Digital Blogs

 

When my Paypal account got hacked by French game server loving hackers I decided to inform Paypal about this heinous activity and get the whole problem sorted out straight away. I only lost 10$ to the hackers, so it wasn’t a massive problem but I didn’t want it to happen again so I informed them about my predicament and they helpfully froze my account (it’s not like I used it for anything, I mean who buys stuff on the internets!?!). They asked for the usual things like changing my password and sending in ID documents etc.

After trying to call them, sending the documents and emailing them multiple times without any human replies I eventually got a cheerful email informing me, “Your account has been found to be too risky for Paypal and is now permanently frozen. Hope you burn in hell and die :) *smiles*”

Naturally I was overjoyed at this imparting of knowledge from the all wise Paypal but I just wanted to clear a few things up so I tried to get hold of their support department via the good 'ole telephone.

unimpressedSimilar to my overjoyed face

Upon reaching the Paypal funny farm aka support department and explaining my situation to them they lovingly told me that I was deemed to be a too “risky” individual to have an account by Paypal. Naturally, being the moronic curious beast I am, I attempted to ask them why and how did they come to that conclusion. This is when they told me, “We can’t tell you the reason for our decision, if you want to know you will need to file a subpeona in the US of A. God bless America!!! YEEEEHAAWWW!!!”

Luckily, I can read in between the lines so what they actually said was, “Our retarded monkeys dipped their hands in faeces and splatted it on your email address. The great priest Nokilberrybagoo took this as a sign you are unworthy to use the hallowed ‘Paypal Account.’ If you send the black suit creatures then we will tell you how we came upon this magnificent revelation. We hate you, goodbye.”

Paypal-failAn accurate reflection of the inner working of Paypal

Being a little disappointed with this response, I kindly asked if I could elevate my request higher and received a brief reply, I’m paraphrasing here, that went something like, “HE’S QUESTIONING THE GREAT LORD COMMANDER FREEZE LIST. YOU WILL NEVER SHAKE OUR FAITH YOU DESPICABLE CUSTOMER. *Click*”

DerpDerpDerpI'm pretty sure this is what the person on the other side looked like.

I later remembered a question I asked earlier on in my call as to why don't I just making a new account. The reply had a hostile tone to it along the lines of, “We will find that account, close it and hunt you down. Then we will kill or destroy all that you love in this world and set it on fire.”

At the end of this experience I was saddened but not disheartened. I knew I could share this experience with others and hopefully save them from the Hell that is Paypal. That is when I decided to investigate Paypal, see how they have screwed over other people and threatened legitimate anti-censorship and anti-corruption websites. What I’ve found out has been quite shocking and in a more serious follow up post I will reveal these investigations. See the follow up post here.

Thanks for reading my article. If you enjoyed it then please share it with your friends on Facebook or Twitter. Every like/tweet you make saves a million children in Antartica.

A geek who loves the net, games and all things geeky.

Comments

riiaan
riiaan
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riiaan Monday, 04 June 2012

no fan either...

I have a paypal account with some money in it, and i just can't get rid of it. nobody wants paypal money.

when you do finally find somebody that accepts paypal, they don't accept paypal from south africa.

very frustrating.

NetizenSA
NetizenSA
A geek who loves the net, games and all things geeky.
User is currently offline
NetizenSA Monday, 04 June 2012

It gets worse...

The more I've read online about this company and the more I've researched has led me to believe that they are the worst internet company of our time. Where other companies like Google, Facebook and Wikileaks stand for some great ideology Paypal only stand for the exploitation of others for monetary gain. That is their ethos in my opinion. Check out my next article on them.

riiaan
riiaan
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riiaan Tuesday, 05 June 2012

Paypal

Paypal was inline to win the "Golden Poo" award as the worst company in America.

They eventually 'lost' to EA games.

I will keep my eye open for your next article.

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