The Do's & Don't of planning a Romantic Evening... written for guys by a guy....

Posted by Wolfe
Wolfe
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on Monday, 23 April 2012
in Digital Blogs

There is no denying that although men have a knack for over complicating a matter, very often we excel at applying simplistic genius when it comes to relationships. Let's face it....it doesn't always yield the results we expect and more than often leaves us with a couch and a blanket that's too short.

I know....the logic is simple....."I get turned on when she strips for me, so I am sure she will get turned on if I strip for her..." uhm.......do you see where I am going with this?

My age has lent itself to some years of experience and listening to some mates I have a "fair" understanding of where we could go wrong when it comes to planning a romantic evening.

Okay, the first question is....what is a Romantic Evening? Ya...for us, romance is having your lady pitch up naked with a 6 pack of beer, FHM under one arm and and a choice of porn or rugby as foreplay....for "them" it's something completely different....the following list of Do's and Dont's will give you the idea...

Do's & Don'ts!

- Do start the morning by telling her that you thinks she looks great and you trust she will have a fantastic day. Don't start it by telling her you dig that blouse because it shows off a lekker cleavage!

- Do tell her you hope she doesn't have plans tonight, because you have a special evening planned for HER....Don't tell her you hope she doesn't have plans tonight, because  plan to run through the Karma Sutra with he.....over promise, under deliver is never a good thing...and...it's about ROMANCE, not SEX....

- Do during the day, make sure you build the excitement of the evening to follow. Here is where we can take full advantage of the digital age. Don't ignore her the whole day thinking she can read your mind...although it would appear that women have this ability, it's a myth...one they have gotten us to believe only when it counts..

- Do create a gmail account with an address like " This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it " , send her the login details and then send her an email telling her what it is that you appreciate most about her...be sure to mention a physical aspect you like, but remember to not be too descriptive. Don't send her an email telling her what you plan to do to her later that night and how you think she has the best t**s in town.....although the latter could be true and flattering in concept...women generally don't find our descriptive choice of words romantic...and...men aren't exactly gifted when it comes to describing an event, what we think could be a Mills & Boons masterpiece, usually ends up being budget porn. Oh....and don't be an idiot and send it to her work email.....

- Do send her a text or two....it can be a simple text to tell her you look forward to seeing her later etc. Although you should hint at what a great night you have planned, make sure your msg's are about HER and not only the events to follow later. Don't send her a text telling her how the thought of the evening has a significant effect on your current state of anatomy....she doesn't want to know that you unable to walk properly at work, especially if she has a reservation about a female colleague in your office....women tend to be able to take situation and provide an outcome way before Nostradamus catches wind of it. Again....the topic is ROMANCE....

- Do send her pic of a rose...or even better...a pic of the two of you where you can say "I came across this photo earlier and just wanted to send it to you and tell you that it reminds me of how much I love you"....tough one guys, but nobody needs to know you did this....Don't send her a pic of your dangly bit taken in the office toilet with the caption "Check what I got planned just for you later!!".....not quite the same as when it comes from the opposite sex...once she figured out what the pic actually is, she is likely to scream and spend the rest of the day sobbing internally trying to get the image out of her mind....her sexual drive paralysed....

- Do try to get off early at work so that you are home before her and set the scene. Don't try to get off work early to squeeze in a quick visit at the pub where you get to tell your mates you gonna get sorted tonight...

- Do wait for her by the front door when she comes home and be excited to see her. Don't shout "Howzit babes, I'm was just checking out the latest score while I waited for you to come home" while you are sitting in the lounge clipping your toe nails, dispensing them in the empty beer bottle.

- Do have a bath ready for her. The ideal bath setting would be candles, rose petals, a glass of red wine, a few blocks of dark chocolate and all her usual grooming products ready to use. Encourage her to relax and to take her time. Be sure to leave a towel for her with a bathrobe and whatever else you want her to wear. Don't run a bath with only hot water and forget to tell her. Having her trip over your clothes on the floor, while attempting to drop the toilet seat you left up is likely to leave her fantasising about one of the heroes in last novel she read.

- Do slip a note under the door telling her to join you at the dinner table when she is ready. Don't burst into the bathroom and say "Are you still gonna be long, because the delivery guy is gonna be here soon hey?"

- Do make sure you have cooked a nice meal for her...and if you cannot cook, at least buy something decent that you fetched and heated. Don't serve her food out of a box thinking she will be pleased that you didn't dirty the dishes.....

- Do ask her to join you a little while after dinner in the bedroom (or wherever) and offer to lead her there when she is ready. Don't give her a nice big meal and before she can chew her last bite you jump up and say "Okay, come let's go work of this meal *nudge*" .....

- Do make sure there is soothing music in the background throughout the evening. Don't put on the latest Rammstein single or pump the latest house through your 10 000watt speakers....the idea is to get her heart racing with anticipation, not beats per minute.

When it comes down to the final act of the evening.....

- Do make sure that your intimate setting is comfortable and warm. Don't drag her into the garden thinking that there is nothing more romantic that getting it on under the stars in the middle of winter while your dog is lying a few feet away watching you trying to get comfortable on the wet grass shivering your butts off.

- Do give her a nice massage or at least a couple of minutes of foreplay...the idea is to make it about her! Don't surprise her with a tacky song and you wobbling around confused by rhythm while you try to take off your clothes. It's a romantic evening, not a comedy festival...besides...guys in underwear only looks good when airbrushed in Men's Health.....not in real life.....

And now....for many guys....after all is said and done...there is the dreaded CUDDLE......

- Do suggest she joins you in the kitchen while you make her a nice cup of tea or coffee, or suggest she goes to the lounge where you can listen to some music and just have a chat. Don't get up and shout "Jislaaik, f**it man, that was awesome!!!" only to round it off with a kiss on the forehead and "Love you babes, sleep well, i'm gonna go check out the F1 highlights. You are tired hey? You mos not into F1?" ......#fail....

Finally...if you read this and your lady doesn't mind the "don'ts" because the thought is good enough....MARRY HER!!!!!

On a serious note...with more reference to the digital aspect of romance. Given how our daily lives revolve around twitter and all sorts of social media.....what role does digital play in your life when it comes to your partner...is just a way to communicate about what to get at the shop etc. or do you use it on a more "personal" level. Given what a massive part of our life it is, one would assume that digital is the new vessel to convey romantic / sexual / emotional thoughts to our partner....IF that is the case....how much emotion is there really in a digital msg?

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