Gaming vs Real Life (& Paul the Chimp)

Posted by [grrr]s3xy_j0nny
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on Friday, 26 February 2010
in General Blogs

So here it begins.

My first ever blog.

Doubtless I'll either mess it up or get bored of it by tomorrow, but if either of those things happens, then at least there will be this permanent reminder for my friends and clanmates to rip me off about.

Where to start?


Personal info: (well, not that personal)

name: Jono

age: 31

sex: *insert appropriate nerd joke

occupation: Casting Director/Castings Editor

primary hobby: PC Gaming

gaming clan: [grrr]

nickname: s3xy_j0nny


The ideas behind this blog:

  • To keep an ongoing record of how work and real life issues conflict with the avid gamer's desired schedule.
  • To 'publicise' gaming as a lifestyle for adults.
  • To keep a record of how irritating Paul the Chimp is.


Some background info:

My job: Working in the advertising/film industry is a seasonal affair. During the summer season (roughly October to April/May) the industry works at breakneck speed - long, 6/7-day working weeks which tire the body and mind. During the interim winter season, the industry all but shuts down, the only jobs on the go being the odd feature film or local commercial.

My gaming history: I was introduced to PC gaming back in the mid 80s. Think ZX Spectrums, Commodore 64's, Amstrad 128k's, loading games by playing casette tapes etc. From there I graduated to consoles like the Nintendo 64 & original Playstation, as well as some bigger and better, more modern PC's. I reckon I could call myself a gamer since those early days, but for me, competitive/online gaming really started in 2005/6 with Battlefield 2. (I was, however, totally addicted to gaming long before I got to play online).

Paul the Chimp: What can I say? He's in my gaming clan, claims to be human and likes nothing more than irritating me. I just thought this would be as good a place as any to keep a record of his jabberings as they're occasionally quite funny (pure accident, I assure you).


So here goes day 1...


Friday 26th February

Today is going to be a long day at work. I'm off to Knysna for a wedding this weekend (not mine, someone else's), so have to finish editing all today's stuff before I go home. Will try jump online for some fun before bed though.

Perfect timing from Paul this morning - the following is what greets me typically on our clan ShoutBox ( ) first thing in the morning:

[Today at 08:42:50 AM] Paul: j0nny, I need to ask you something important

[Today at 08:45:05 AM] Dragonne: Here it comes...

[Today at 08:47:25 AM] Paul: What is it like being hated by the entire world?

Followed shortly by:

[Today at 08:58:48 AM] Paul: This year I am going to try help the less fortunate, so I thought I would start with the least fortunate person on the planet

[Today at 08:58:57 AM] Paul: a.k.a j0nny

My only response was to tell him that when he was talking on the shoutbox, all I can hear in my head is that song from the Jungle Book where the monkey sings about wishing he was human. Naturally I misspelt 'jungle' so my amazing witticism was largely undermined by poor execution.


12.30pm: Just cast myself for a local commercial. Will have to hold thumbs (something Paul can't do because his aren't opposable).

QTC (Quoth The Chimp):

[Today at 12:51:13 PM] Paul: Don't you worry I will comment on your blog

[Today at 12:52:45 PM] Paul: Something along the lines of...

[Today at 12:53:56 PM] Paul: It warms my heart to see such young talent, to think an under privileged 5 years could spell so well. There is hope

[Today at 12:54:12 PM] Paul: for our young yet

[Today at 12:54:22 PM] Paul: bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah




Saturday 27th Feb:


7a.m. Waiting for Mito to arrive then off to Knysna. S'posed to leave at 6, but she lost her car keys...

*high five!

Will probably only write more tomorrow night.



Sunday 28th Feb:


5.30p.m. Back and tired as hell. But tonight's a gaming night after 2 days off work and no internet. Got a sentimental 'welcome back' from Paul the Chimp.


[February 28, 2010, 05:35:02 PM] [grrr]s3xy_j0nny: evening

[February 28, 2010, 06:29:41 PM] Paul: Shut

[February 28, 2010, 06:29:44 PM] Paul: your

[February 28, 2010, 06:29:46 PM] Paul: face

11p.m. Many, many zombies died as we klapped the last episode of Left4Dead2. It was quick, it was brutal. Also played some Team Fortress 2 afterwards for the sake of diversification. Players: Duck, Onyx, xennox, m'self (plus some oke on the TF2 server who greeted us like long lost pioneers of the game or something. Friendly chap.

All in all, Real Life has won this past weekend, what with 2 days worth of road tripping, wedding, swimming etc, and only one night of serious gaming (which has ended early anyways). Tomorrow is Monday and back to work; still, I sense much gaming in Monday night's future...


Monday 1 March:

>>4 days left to release date for BattleField Bad Company 2...<<

7.00a.m. Back at work.



[Today at 09:48:21 AM] Paul: also, you are a f**k nut

[Today at 09:48:29 AM] Paul: also, you are an *ss hound

[Today at 09:48:49 AM] Paul: also, you are douchebag

[Today at 09:49:09 AM] Paul: also, you disappoint your parents

[Today at 09:49:17 AM] Paul: also, you smell funny

[Today at 09:49:29 AM] Paul: also, should I carry on?

The balance of the universe has been restored after 2 days on the forum shoutbox without Paul throwing insults around like he does his own p00. 

Casting til 6.30p.m. so edit should be done by 8 and then home to game.


[Today at 09:52:55 AM] Paul: I am like Mother Theresa, I will become a saint when I die

[Today at 09:53:26 AM] Paul: There will be holidays named after me "Saint Pail Day"  the day of doing good

[Today at 09:53:41 AM] Paul: It will be like Christmas but not as commercial

Freudian slip there, as Paul misspells his own name (what a chimp) as 'Pail'. Considering the fact that he has perhaps the finest IT tan on the planet (he uses TipEx as fake tan), it's an onomatopoeic masterpiece.

*Side Note: Did I mention that this past weekend's wedding took place in an Elephant park of all places? No jokes, the bride and groom came riding in on elephant back at one stage during the proceedings. Roughly between the service (comprising Celtic, Apache, African and Scandinavian traditions to ward off evil and bring good luck and happiness - again, no jokes) and the bit where we got to feed elephants by hand, shortly before we got to feed ourselves (knives and forks this time). Food was awesome, people were great. Got asked by a hunchbacked lady (I promise, no jokes) to take some photos of her feeding the elephants. She had an awesome Pentax camera, so I went crazy - snapped about 20 shots in under a minute before I realised she was using film and not a flashcard. Swiftly returned the camera and assured the lady that I had "at least 2 or 3 good shots"...

Was good fun all in all, despite everyone being handed a crystal upon entering the chapel (read: rondavel in the elephant park) which was to be blessed and placed within the Sacred Circle of Rose Petals to bring happiness and love to the couple as they went through their vows. Awesome moment near the beginning of the service as the Father of the Bride, having handed his daughter over to the groom proceeded to scatter a large chunk of the Sacred Circle across the chapel with a well timed stumble-trip-kick. Classic.

12.15p.m. Been checking my body for spider bites - starting to feel exhausted and nauseous. I suspect a spider is to blame - there were buggers that lookied like they could rip a limb off you if they wanted to in Knysna.



[Today at 01:43:10 PM] Paul: Just because you are growing a beard, it doesn't make you homeless

[Today at 01:44:40 PM] [grrr]s3xy_j0nny: is that one of your 'pearls'?

[Today at 01:45:33 PM] Paul: Write that down

[Today at 01:59:08 PM] Paul: The tone deaf should never break out into song

[Today at 01:59:21 PM] Paul: Seriously, my fist will fit in your mouth.


Tuesday 2 March:

>>3 days left to release date for BattleField Bad Company 2...<<

* potential soundtrack for first vid:

9.00a.m. Kicked some more undead *ss last night, this time Survivor Mode. Same 4some with Xennox, Onyx & the Duck. Finished up early to get some sleep after the Duck abandoned us for the sake of real life. Joined shortly after he left by a [FFL] (Friends For Life clan) chappie who seemed to know what he was doing (ie: told us where to stand/what weapons to use etc, all to no avail as we got rooted for the rest of the night's play).


[Today at 01:49:08 PM] Paul: If only they could cure douchebagness. I would pay for your treatment

[Today at 01:53:33 PM] [grrr]s3xy_j0nny: you could try, but I doubt they'd accept peanuts as a form of currency

[Today at 01:57:50 PM] Paul: I would sell my kidney to pay to have you de-douchified. That is how much of a douche you are.

Team Fortress 2 followed by more zombie bashing. Joined by Catchr for the L4D2 frenzy and got Onyx her Hard Rain achievement. Finished off with some survival mode just to make sure I had nightmares...


Thursday 4 March:

>>1 day left to release date for BattleField Bad Company 2...<<


[Today at 07:04:58 AM] Paul: Die bitch

[Today at 07:09:22 AM] Paul: Die like a paraplegic old man drowning in his own vomit 

[Today at 07:09:57 AM] * Paul makes note to self:  It appears I have become immune to the medication 

Yes, I know, I didn't write anything yesterday - work day started at 5.30a.m. and finished 8.30p.m. so I have an excuse...

Tomorrow is D-Day. Bad Company 2 is released and then my life belongs once more to the Battle Field series. It's so close I can taste it.

1:45p.m. Found out earlier that Stu has taken tomorrow off so he can collect BC2 and play all day. Damn and blast him! Why didn't i think of that?

C.T. is once again stewing in its own juices - no idea what the temperature is but it must be somewhere in the region of *$%#ing hot.


[Today at 01:50:34 PM] Ic3nFl4me: A fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF! 

[Today at 02:00:16 PM] Phatso: HAHA

[Today at 02:09:43 PM] SoSheOhPathix: That is so old, Ice...

[Today at 02:13:19 PM] Paul: That is why he said it

[Today at 02:13:54 PM] Paul: Just like his ninja school his humour is ancient


Monday 8th March:

So, Real Life is throttling the living daylights out of my gaming time at the moment. This weekend I've been editing, filming and assisting with an underwater casting. My awesome studio tan (similar to an IT tan) has been destroyed and replaced with lobster pink. Hopefully tonight is going to afford me some BFBC2 time AT LAST. Got the game and installed it on Friday and since then have not even had time to login.

Wednesday 10th March:

Squeezed in a bit of L4D2 again last night with Onyx and the Duck. If not for these snatched moments of online MP entertainment, work would be exceedingly hard to get through right now. Workload is peaking and gaming time is taking a knock.

Still haven't managed to get onto an online game of BFBC2 yet. Not keen to have my first go while I'm knackered either. Today starts with the promise of an early finish, so tonight may be the night.


[Today at 07:33:57 AM] Dragonne: J0nny, leave Paul alone

[Today at 07:43:10 AM] Dragonne: you know that Paul is 'Special'. The doctors said that we should try humouring him. It may help him get over it

[Today at 07:45:55 AM] Paul: Both of you will be in my biography, under that chapter  "People that made my life a living hell"


Thursday 11th March:

No joy last night on the BC2 servers. The handful that SGS and iGame have up at the moment are full constantly. One literally has to sit trying to join a server repeatedly for the chance to get on in any free space that opens up. This makes it practically impossible to coordinate a group of clan mates onto a particualr server as well. Still, SGS have stated that they are trying to triple their server count by some time this weekend, so it should at least give us a chance to get on as a [grrr]oup and have some MP fun.

Work is going ballistic still, so tonight looks like another write off for gaming. DAMN YOU, REAL LIFE! DAMN YOU TO HELL! (You too, Paul.)


Moday 15th March:

FINALLY had a day off work yesterday. Spent it wisely doing some laundry and tidying the flat, but mainly played BC2 for a good stint as well. Awesome game, despite my pc not really being totally up to spec in the gpu department. Have put the IT nerds brains trust onto recommending a new one. The main issue is loss of frame rate which hampers my otherwise god-like talent for sniping. I'm hammering the Recon kit as hard as I can as I suspect it will be a vital kit for clannies and competitions. Also, with the limited time that I have for gaming at the moment, diversification would only leave me partially qualified in a variety of kits/weapons, as opposed to well-drilled with one set.


[Today at 09:36:18 AM] oZzy: real "Duke Nukem 3d" style , rip-off his head and sh*t down his throat

[Today at 09:40:46 AM] Paul: Dude you couldn't rip a wrapper off a chappies...

Like I say, occasionally he's funny.


Wednesday 17th March:

Happy Saint Paddy's Day!


[Today at 01:48:12 PM] Ic3nFl4me: check the youtube link Friends Really against nade spaming 

[Today at 02:05:52 PM] Paul: Stu, you fail, you fail so bad!

[Today at 02:06:12 PM] Paul: You managed to kill the convo with a youtube link!

[Today at 02:06:27 PM] Paul: You are like the AIDS of convo killers, there is no cure!


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Charmed Friday, 26 February 2010

Welcome to myDL!

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Slipperyduck Friday, 26 February 2010

Nice Jonno,

Hope the commericial gig goes well, same Advertising Agency as your last one?

[grrr]Onyx has not set their biography yet
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[grrr]Onyx Friday, 26 February 2010

Very entertaining so far. Now we wait to hear what Paul has to say... ;D

IcenFlame has not set their biography yet
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IcenFlame Friday, 26 February 2010

I'd have to agree with your sentiment, Paul is a chimp

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Flycatchr Friday, 26 February 2010

ZX spectrums, i remember those.
wow, AGES AGO, programming in basic :o

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Dragonne Saturday, 27 February 2010

Hey mate, enjoy Knysna! It looks to be a scorcher of a weekend. Mito, eh? ;)

[grrr]s3xy_j0nny has not set their biography yet
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[grrr]s3xy_j0nny Monday, 01 March 2010

Mito = colleague, Bossman.

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Slipperyduck Tuesday, 02 March 2010

Lol - Fail For Life

[grrr]Onyx has not set their biography yet
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[grrr]Onyx Tuesday, 02 March 2010

We had a great session until it got cut short by you know who.

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Flycatchr Wednesday, 03 March 2010

those zombies just didnt stop

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Dragonne Thursday, 11 March 2010

You should try sticking around a bit when teh servers are full. We've been hanging out in TS, and getting on the servers as and when we can. Last night there were 6 grrrs on the same server, all on TS at the same time. And it didn't take THAT long to get going.

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