The Pianist Campaign for Presidency:

Posted by The Pianist
The Pianist
From my pic you see my rockstardom started young :P
User is currently offline
on Monday, 18 August 2008
in Digital Blogs

 

I think that John Cleese is a bad candidate now, because I think I should be president.  This is my campaign.

 

My party is called:  L.P – Logical Party

 

Education:

 

All children will be taught to read, before we give them books on being careful with guns, sex, cars etc. 

They will learn three languages out of the 11 official ones, one of those languages will be English.  Children will write smses using full words.  In turn, their assignments on writing letters to a friend won’t look “Like so”:

‘Sup chicky,  Howzit going.  OMW did u hear what happened to –so and so- lst w/end?

N E way.  gtg.  luv me”

 

Roads:

 

We intend to stop changing road names, building names, event names, public holiday names, our own names.  We’re serious in our cabinet.  We don’t get bored.  So instead of pumping money into that, we’re putting it into housing people who sleep on the side of that renamed road.

 

Transport

 

We are buying ourselves second hand cars.  We hope to please our nation, and that way we don’t have to have a convoy of six brand new BMW’s incase someone wants to blow us up.

Heck, let’s ride bicycles to work.  The money that is saved from our millions we spend on cars and petrol for those six cars, we’ll put into decent public transport.  If we need to fly, we’ll use Kulula and earn ourselves Jet Setter points!

 

Health:

 

HIV does lead to AIDS.  Yes I know this.  I also know that drinking will cause problems with my liver.  I know that veggies are healthy for me, but won’t make EVERY illness go away.

I knock down 2010 promotion buildings and build more hospitals.  I’ll pay hospital staff more so that they save lives and don’t strike.

 

Unions:

 

The public will only be allowed 4 strikes a year.  Choose wisely

 

 

 

 

Tagging, Littering, glass breaking, ATM bombing...

 

Is annoying, please stop else we’ll tickle you with feathers.

 

 

Sports:

 

Children in our country are fat, they’re going to do sport.  Facebook access is only allowed 30 min a day for children in school.  Hannah Montana is from now on BANNED.

 

Crime:

 

We’re selling all our arms back to Germany, China and France.  Once we’ve done this, we’re buying an island.  If you’ve stolen a cd, or killed 5 people, a helicopter will dump you on this island.  Good luck.

 

 

Crocs:

 

Are banned.  No hush, they don’t look nice.  They’re horrible.  If you wear them, we’ll clear out your cupboard of all your shoes.  Including your different colours of crocs.  They’re nasty

 

 

US mimicking:

 

Use your own accent.  No need to use Will Smith’s.  It’s his, not yours

 

 

Clothes

 

Pants hanging below your bum is not on.  If your clothes are too big, get needle and thread and sew it.  No one likes your teddy bear boxes, your mother lied to you.

 

 

Socialising:

 

If you are below the age of 40.  Sitting at home moping every weekend is not on, unless you have children.  Then you are allowed to mope once a weekend.  if you are 24, single and spend your weekends in front of tv, you will be sent to ‘the island’

 

I hope I’ve convinced you I’ll be a good president.  Vote for me!

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Comments

Guest
redsaid Monday, 18 August 2008

hahahahahahaha! Although I find some of your plans a bit extreme (hey, I HAVE crocs... I have weird, flat feet, and the crocs (aka the clown shoes) are comfy... but no, I don\'t wear them in public, even though they are a sensible black, so don\'t judge!), you certainly have my vote! :grin

Guest
Koo Monday, 18 August 2008

You have my vote :)

Guest
The Pianist Monday, 18 August 2008

THANKS GUYS! *starts practicing presidential wave*

Guest
thenack Monday, 18 August 2008

X

Guest
Traysee Monday, 18 August 2008

president of what?

Guest
Traysee Monday, 18 August 2008

ah, i get it. this is just for the fun of it.
would i vote for you... hahaha! that\'s be telling. so much for democracy :)

Guest
The Pianist Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Touche :grin

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