Tips for terrorist video producers
Being the internet junkie that I am, watching terrorist videos online has become part of my day. Not that I can always find them, and www.liveleak.com does not always update quick enough for my liking.
I would like to express a couple of things that bug me a when it comes to videos of ambushs, IED or sucide attacks.
If your a terrorist, or thinking that strapping explosives to yourself is a good idea, then here are a couple of tips when it comes to filming your specatular demise.
- Please mr terrorist, please use a damn tripod. If you want people to take you seriously you need to stop uploading shakey video footage of your terrorist ways. Its a little annoying when you are watching some US humvee get blown to little bits when all of a sudden you shake and start running or fall over or have to pray. I dont know what your doing, but please tripod. Look, there not expensive, your spending a lot on weapons and the video camera, you could at least give your viewers something that doesn't look like a man with parkinsons was given the camera.
- Stop zooming all the way into the target. It starts to pixelate, plus it makes your already unsteady hand shake and go all over the place, as you look for those infidels bodies.
- Stop with those annoying intros, jeez we know that you have a message to get out to the world but where the instant gratifaction generation. If you want to get our attention please use a shorter intro, that does not have some man singing the same three words over and over again.
- We maybe the western infidel that your willing to blow your self up about, but the average joe out there does not read or speak arabic. What does this mean. Well, stop putting arabic writing all over it. We have no idea what your saying. A little english wouldn't hurt, it helps to contextualise what we are watching.
- Take ownership of your work, a credit list on the end of your video would give those that watch your friends explosive adventure, know who made the video and who made paste out of themselves.
With these simple little tools you and your terrorist buddies can look forward better videos and respect amoung your peers.
Maybe one day, you can all get together and maybe give out awards to the best terrorist video of the year.