I could feel the heavy weight of it in my bag as I crossed the busy road that led to my flat. It was cold and rainy and my feet ached from the walk trying to find the gun shop. The seller had shown me briefly how it worked. How to load it. How to fire it. How to clean it. The safety catch. I had not paid too much attention to his well-rehearsed demonstration. I knew that it had been purchased for one reason only.
McFurley greeted me with his usual enthusiasm as I entered the flat and I wondered who would look after him after I was gone. Would he sit next to my body until somebody found me or just resume sleeping after his fright from the bang.
I decided to have some tea first. I sat in the kitchen while the kettle boiled, the gun lying on the table in front of me. It represented a way out to all the problems that had plagued me for so long.
My hands shook as I reached for the cold metal. It felt unnatural and foreign in my hands and was almost too heavy for me to even hold.
The kettle had finished boiling and suddenly I had a craving for one of the double chocolate chip muffins that the deli down the road sold. I would go get one before I did it. I might as well have one last treat before I go.
As I left the deli I suddenly felt strangely cheerful. I wasn't sure whether it was the smell of the muffin or the fact that it had stopped raining, but suddenly I wondered whether I should rethink this whole thing. I looked up to see the sun breaking through the clouds on the horizon and was so lost in thought that I never saw the truck coming, never heard the sound of the horn or the people behind me shouting.