With the advice of my friend, “Townboy”, to “write about something that excites me” and from a recent debate about prostitution (supply and demand), the revelation that even though it may be far easier to get “leg over” from a pro, the experiences you’ll miss out on the traditional path far outweigh this “easier route”. So, as I draw from years of practice, understanding, familiarity, knowledge and skill within this field, I decided that this would be a good starting point to launch my “blogging” career, ...the same way I started my sexual encounters, by deciding to “jump in the deep end”. (Bad pun noted, but I choose to see it more as witticism).
As for unique sexual predation, let’s take the case study of Mr. Joe Blogger (myself) for instance. Many years ago, Mr. Blogger was, as were many others, a first timer, or a “virgin” if you will, in this field. After countless triumphant and successful episodes, and taking into account that he would not take the “age old” route for vendors offering this particular product, but instead, by using his incredible acumen and resolute integrity, preferably “gaining access” in the more traditional sense of flirting, encouraging, courting, dating, marrying, begging, tricking, etc. he, in my humble opinion, has accumulated enough experience to put pen to paper.
It all commences with the male’s almighty urge to go forth and multiply! (Little does he, in fact, realise that this term is not intended for procreation purposes, but merely as a monetary term, to do with bills and invoices. With all emphasis on multiply and monetary). Thus with this uncontrollable and irresponsible urge to procreate, he’ll organise with his hunting posse or fellow hunters to go out and party till the "wee hours". This ‘need’ is now scientifically and medically referred to as a condition called “Getsum-initus”. Consequently the typical conversation and comprehensive strategic planning which follows by a vast majority of males, usually goes something like this: “Hey dude, wassup? Wassapnin later?”… “Dunno, wanna get trashed an go getsum?”… “Cool man, pick you up at 8”. Note the prodigious and comprehensive thought process, careful planning and exhaustive research goes into a jaunt such as this.
Having arrived a the club/bar/party/gathering/braai and acquired the habitual beverage for that particular social persona, he’ll start to survey the produce on display, usually found lingering over a hemline hovering well above the knee and/or a voluminous cleavage yielded by a lacy Victoria’s Secret, consequently resulting in acute exophthalmia (ex·oph·thal·mus - n. abnormal protrusion of the eyeball resulting, for example, from an aneurysm)
. After consumption of copious amounts of afore mentioned beverage and stabilising of the said aneurysm, the male testosterone (C19
) will kick in and Mr. Blogger will find himself bravely sauntering over to the “Chosen One”, divulging in the most eloquent and astute blunderings of “opening liners” at his inebriated disposal: “What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?” or ”Can I buy you babe, a drink?” or one of any number of equally ineffable propositions, after which, he’ll, with a profusion of luck, get affirmation that the plan to “getsum” has a definite positive bearing. Thus begins the consumption of any organic compound, in sight, containing one or more hydroxyl groups bound to carbon atoms, more commonly know as alcohol, interrupted by sporadic bouts of reciprocated controlled epilepsy, more commonly identified as dancing and a cacophony of drunken quips and one-liners. The evening may end in the consensual paring of two mighty forces and perhaps bacon and eggs in the morning, followed by “hair ‘o the dog”. Hopefully this will subdue the pursuit for at least six to seven hours, until the behavioral contagion recommences.
In all honesty, though, this quest inevitably concludes with no "getsum" for me, an empty fanny pack (wallet) and an extremely bad headache, followed by “hair ‘o the dog”! It's also been discoverd that this condition continues throughout the life of all adult males, though it (the condition) may take on different forms in order to ultimately achieve the desired result. Often followed by “hair ‘o the dog”!
Thus concludes this predatory yarn and my abrupt ending as a first time blogger!