Do you get people walking into supermarkets demanding to buy products at cost price? I haven’t seen any and it’s something I have never tried. Imagine the cashier’s amazement if someone actually stood in front of her hollering that she's ripping them off. The seller bought the products for so much cheaper than the consumer has to pay for it at the check out and she (the cashier) is blatantly dishonest for marking up the price. Ridiculous, don’t you think? The world today revolves around making a profit. If you cannot make any money from it – you won’t be able to get it. Like cows, I suspect that if no one actually ate cows they may have become extinct a long, long time ago. What really tickles me is that it happens to me on a daily basis where I work at a Bureau de Change in Nelspruit. Customers swear at me! Kick doors in and accuses me of greedily exploiting travelers and tourists. Hey, I am just the cashier.
About six years ago, the owner of the company that I work for identified that there is a need for foreign exchange services in South Africa. International tourists as well as local travelers had limited options when it came to currency exchange. He seized the opportunity - worked hard and overcame many obstacles to open his first bureau. It paid of. His company has expanded and is still growing. Based on the success our small company enjoys I conclude that the service we render must be of value, it is needed.
Like any other business we need to make a profit. Not only to profit the owner, but also to grow the company and cover the operating expenses incurred. No, we do not get to lease shops for free and cashiers like me expect a salary in return, paper costs money and computers work with electricity. Any one with some sort of grey matter should realise that it’s blatantly obvious that we are profit driven, right? Give me a break… People walk in here and more often than not become aggravated because there is a service fee for the services rendered. (Here I have to thank the inventor of bullet proof glass profusely)
To travelers it is beyond comprehension why a service fee should be charged for items sold at a “HUGE” profit. Our turn around time to sell the stock purchased is 24hours, the money does not get shelved until someone walks by and decides to load it into their shopping trolley. The next day the money needs to be cleared, until, somehow it ends up at our Reserve Bank. Take a moment to think about it, would you? Our economy is a volatile volcano and our currency is continuously gaining or losing value. It is unpredictable. Magma needs time to solidify. Therefore – the money that I buy today at R7-06 could be sold tomorrow at R6-89. “Oops, I’ve lost some money!” said the disappointed entrepreneur. Thank goodness my superiors had the foresight to charge a commission in the event that something like this should happen, and in the South African economy, it happens all too often. Coffee smells good in the morning, doesn’t it?
Please, consider all the scenarios before you come and fight with me Mr. Traveler. If there was no profit in this business our outlets would be non-existent, and where would that leave you?
My thirteen year old brother has been diagnosed with Bells' Palsy! Eek... What does this mean for him? The muscles on the right hand side of his face is completely paralysed, so much so that the little terrorist(under normal circumstances; at the moment slightly calm) can't even blink his eye. My mother was of course absolutely guilt ridden and close to a nervous breakdown as she thought that the stress of the abusive relationship she finds herself in was the cause. Hopefully somewhere in her mind she can see the flashing sirens and hear the alarm going "ding, ding, ding" - rude awakening... everything you do affects your kids. All the money and effort that people put into a mooching woman beater can be better spent on their kids. That's why I'm rather waiting for Mr. Right (who has a name by the way - Heinz - we never fought)
I feel very sorry for our "Slyvester Stallone clone". He feels terribly embarrassed to go to school. He has to wear an eye patch, but bluntly refuses as he knows it's an open invite to a beating from his peers. Which may have been the cause of the paralysis in the first place. After doing some research on the net I found that causes for Bell's Palsy is mostly occurs after a viral infection by the herpes simplex virus. THE COLD SORE VIRUS!!! Bloody hell! My mom and I are so prone to getting fever blisters. Norman, however is not a sickly child and has not been sick for a long time, the only plausible explanation is the fight at school not so long ago where his head got bashed. People should really keep their schizophrenic puppies at home.
In all good faith Norman will get better, even if his dad is disinterested. (My mom tried to phone him several times to inform him, but he refuses to answer. Norman of course deifies his dad. Someday it will dawn on him that his dad is capable of phoning him during the week. It should be easy since Norman has his own phone you know) Mom is diligently applying the ice and massaging as specified and the spirited fellow does his facial exercises. Let's hope and pray that he is one of the 75% that recovers quickly.
Think Like A Woman
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied: "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".
You call a traffic light a "robot".
You call an elevator a "lift"
You call a hood a "bonnet"
You call a trunk a "boot"
You call a pickup truck a "bakkie"
You call a Barbeque a "Braai"
The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.
You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
You know that there's nothing to do in the Orange Free State .
You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
When you are a victim of crime and say: "At least I'm still alive".
You know a taxi can move twice it's certified number of people in one trip.
You travel 100's of kilometres to see snow.
You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee
To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given, Patience, Portion, Coronation.
"Now now" or "just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.
You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway.
You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes.
The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
You paint your car's registration on the roof.
You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.
You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
Prisoners go on strike.
You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
You consider a high crime rate as normal.
You actually get these jokes!
Oom Koos van die Oos Transvaal besit sy plasie nou al vir donkiejare.
Skuins agter die bloekoms het hy destyds vir sy kinders die plaasdam in 'n swembad omskep en goed ingerig, met piekniektafels, braaigeriewe en vrugtebome.
Een aand, so skemer se kant, besluit Oom Koos, in sy eensaamheid, om bietjie daar by die dam te gaan sit. Hy neem toe ook 'n emmer saam om 'n paar van die vrugte terug te neem huis toe.
Soos wat hy aangestap kom, hoor hy vrolike stemme gesels en giggel. Hy val plat agter 'n bos en loer deur die takke om te sien wat aangaan. Tot sy swak hart beleef hy 'n groep kaal meisies wat in die dam swem. Hy staan toe op en stap nader om die meisies te laat weet hulle betree eintlik 'n ander man se eiendom. Toe hulle hom sien, sak hulle almal laer af, sodat die water die nodige toemaak.
Een van die meisies skreeu benoud op die oom: "Ons klim nie uit voor oom nie weggaan nie!"
"Nee, nee, bedaar niggie, ek is nie hier om te kyk hoe die spulletjie van julle kaalgat swem nie....." Hy hou die emmer omhoog en se: "Ek is net gou hier om die krokodil kos te gee....."