Breathing life through music

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on Wednesday, 20 February 2008
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Beathing music.....

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You're My HEROINE

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on Wednesday, 14 November 2007
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You’re My Heroine

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OMG I AM SO OVER IT!!!!

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on Thursday, 25 October 2007
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"I am over it" are probably 4 of the msot abused words at Rhodes.  Not sure about the rest of the world, coz well I try not to venture out into it too often.  But lets examine the diversity of this phrase.  For example:

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Destroying Our Kids

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on Tuesday, 23 October 2007
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Ah remember the days when we were kids.  I say this having only just turned 20 and still with the mentality of a 12 year old, however remember the days when we were kids.  We had fun right?  Of course we did.  More and more people are starting to pick up on the differences of our childhood compared to that of the generations we see today.  Back in the day, we still rode bikes, had picnics in the park and ran around in the sewer... k maybe a bit extreme.  We went for walks, collecting random things, we invented games and replayed fairy tales in the backyard.  We invented obstacle courses, got into fights, got dirty and hurt.  We have bruises and scars, we have memories of hidings from dad or mom, memories of getting caught stealing chocolate, of crying and feeling guilty and of running and feeling free.  I loved my childhood.  I went through a lot with family issues as a kid, but by being able to occupy myself with trivial, uncaring moments, life passed on with more fond, than bad memories.  I loved tying my sister to a tree on the pavement with a 'For Sale' sign.  I love running away from the park with an arm full of flowers and plants i had stolen for my barbie house we had built in the garden.  I loved falling off my bike, getting banned from the school library, playing cricket, tennis and any other game in the street.

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A Life Scare... Could it all just have Ended?

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on Monday, 22 October 2007
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It is not everyday you have to contemplate whether you will still be alive in a few hours.  It is not everyday your life is noticably in danger.  It is not everyday you try and phone your family to tell them you love them no matter what and that you are sorry for eveything you ever said or did to cause pain.  It is not everyday you are forced to confront the fact that you may never drink a cup of tea, sleep in your bed, walk home, laugh, eat smarties or say I love you.  Well yesterday was a day where all of these frightening prospects threw themselves upon me.  I had a life scare.  The details now are no longer important, all that matters is that today I am sitting in my messy room at my desk, my unfinished art projects surrounding me, my hXc music a comforting background to this setting and a package from home on the way.  Yes, today I still have all these meaningless comforts, I still have my family and friends, I still have my life, and everyone who knows me still has me.  I cant even begin to understand why in the past I have stupidly contemplated suicide, almost making a decision which would result in an ending to what I am now so grateful to have.  I have too many things unfinished and unsaid in my life.  And while sometimes we may think it easier to just let it all go, when you are faced with the prospect of never getting another chance, things are suddenly put into perspective.  In those hours I sat there half laughing, half crying, not knowing how to deal with what might happen at any second, I did not think about my new phone, or that ipod i would now never get.  I did not think about my harddrive, my computer or my clothes which would go to waste or even how the boks had claimed another world cup victory.  I thought about people, memories, faces, words which had passed, words which still needed to be said.  All I wanted to do was talk to my mom, and my 3 best friends.  Now I know more than ever that it is people, it is people that matter, that mean everything to me, that are my life.  How easily we take everything for granted.

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love_LOVE_love

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on Wednesday, 10 October 2007
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"My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,

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Keeping Up With MyDL

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on Tuesday, 02 October 2007
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I am thinking of leaving MyDL. What do I have left to contribute. I am experiencing a sever dose of writers block, and on top of that, my hard worked blog will only appear on the side of the screen for a few minutes before it is bumped down by hundreds of oncoming blogs. Apart from that, I have been trying to fight the digital stream and write about things people feel, think and fear, but on a site called MyDL... My Digital Life... it becomes a bit hard. I just feel that with the growth of the site, the intimacy and fun has been lost. But this is perhaps my own fault for not keeping up with the pace of MyDL. My DL has grown so much, adding thousands of new people bringing with them all their words, ideas and blogs. It is addictive to see how peoples lives unfold blog by blog to us, and often reading about someone elses fears helps us deal with our own. Even simply talking about something which you are passionate about, or something which is troubling, being able to share that with complete strangers makes it that much easier to begin to understand yourself as well as other people. It is a rare privaledge to know what over a thousand different strangers are thinking and how they relate to and respond to words you say.

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My Diary Entry Of Nothing

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on Wednesday, 26 September 2007
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And so the time has come for me to write another blog...

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Another night of THEROPUTIC BEATINGS!

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on Thursday, 20 September 2007
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I wake up and my mind is buzzing.  I check my phone and its only just 5am.  I down some water and roll on my back.  Sleep does not return.  So I think about the nights events.  I left res after 7.  Walked with a close friend to Taphuis, feeling tired and not much like a good going out companion.  Eventually we reach Taphuis (anyone from Rhodes who has walked there at some point will understand the full emphasis on the word eventually).  We get there and everybody catches up and socializes for a bit.  I was a pirate themed evening and so much ‘hook-poking’ ‘arrrging’ and ‘parrot-thieving’ is going on.  Finally the first band gets ready to perform.  They are quite mellow and happy making and everyone is pretty chilled.  Next in the line of performance is the ska band who won the Grahamstown Battle of the Bands.  And so the skanking begins and finally I am free.  Free from the people around me, free to go insane in that happy circle and free to express myself.  I broke my record of not losing a shoe, but I am not alone in this and son it is picked up and handed to me.  And so my skanking continues.  Sadly the band plays there last song and out of breath we all stand begging, pleading for just one more, and yet feeling completely satisfied.  I know I have tried to describe the feeling of ecstasy in a previous blog, and I fear I shall never be able to do that successfully.  Perhaps its like the feeling we would have if we could fly.  Or maybe not, because it would be like flying against a flock of geese!  After the 2nd band we all step outside for some air, talking and laughing until we hear the last band begin heir first song.  They were the runner-ups in The Battle of the Bands and are a heavy metal band.  Not exactly my favourite music, but it too has a healing process for me.  Slowly we all together, yet individually vent out into rage, relieving anger and raising happy, satisfied fists.  My neck hurts, I am bruised and my lungs are filled with second hand smoke, but I have had my fix for the week.  I can sit here at 5am and smile, because for a few minutes I left my world and its aches and pains behind me.  Yes, I sit here at 5am listening to a band from PE I only just discovered and I am stoked to think that they will be in Gtown in October! 

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"Skank All Your Troubles Away" - The Best Fix Ever!

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on Monday, 03 September 2007
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